Kvindevin på vandvognen

Shit! Du vågner op med et markant panda-look bestående af gårsdagens mascara og opdager rester fra en Strøg-shawarma på din hovedpude. Der kommer en raspende rallen fra dit svælg, der er nogenlunde lige så fugtigt som Gobi-ørkenen. ”Fuck”, tænker du, ”jeg skal aldrig mere drikke”. Og så ser du i et ubehageligt flashback, hvordan du lavede ’ormen’ på dansegulvet, fik overbalance og røg ind i din venindes utroligt lækre fætter, hvis skjorte du i øvrigt senere batik-udsmykkede med et generøst skænket glas rødvin. Du prøver nu at bevæge dig ud i køkkenet efter et glas vand, men idet du rejser dig, mærker du nu en smerte på siden af dit højre lår og din venstre håndflade, og i glimt vender din voldsomt lange tamburinsolo tilbage for dit indre blik. Du finder din telefon i køkkenet (med shawarma-dressing på skærmen) og ser med rædsel, at der ligger en hel masse sms’er fra en, der kalder sig Per, som tilsyneladende har oplevet noget banebrydende fantastisk, som du til at begynde med slet ikke har nogen erindring om. Men det har muligvis noget at gøre med, at du ikke kan finde dine nyindkøbte Wolford-strømpebukser i bunken af festtøj ved siden af sengen. Du har mest af alt bare lyst til at købe en ny identitet. Hurtigt.

Lyder det bekendt?

Det siges jo, man skal rejse sig ved det træ, man er faldet ved. Efter al sandsynlighed vil det betyde, du skulle rejse dig ved en flaske Champagne, men hold dig hellere til lægernes anbefalinger om at få hældt noget vand indenbords. Efter den antagelse at det rent faktisk har en virkning at rejse sig ved det træ, man er faldet ved, bliver vi dog i boblernes verden. Find din favorit på listen nedenfor eller drik dig gennem dem alle.

 

Évian & Treo

Historien om Évians mirakuløse kildevand går helt tilbage til 1789, hvor en markis fra byen ved foden af Alperne regelmæssigt drak af en lokal kilde på sine gåture. Adelsmanden led bl.a. af nyre- og leverproblemer, og han hævdede, at det havde en gavnlig virkning på hans helbred at drikke af kilden. Formentlig er din lever godt ude i tovene i dag, så forkæl den med noget Évian-vand.

Hæld dit Évian-vand op i stort glas og tilsæt en Treo med citron, der giver nogle blide bobler og et let strejf af citrusnoter.

 

Badoit

Er du mere til naturligt mousserende mineralvand, så prøv med Badoit, der er værdsat for sin unikke smag, som vandet får på sin lange underjordiske rejse, hvor vandet beriges med mineralske salte. Vær klar over, at Badoits bobler er så små, at du måske vil tænke, at nogen glemte at sætte proppen ordentlig på. Det er faktisk meningen! Servér Badoit i et højt, slankt glas – det kan være et champagneglas, med mindre det forværrer dine tømmermænd med så kraftig en association til alkoholindtag. Et højt slankt glas holder på de små bobler og gør det nemmere at indtage det liggende på sofaen, fordi du kan have et sugerør sikkert stående i det høje glas.

 

S. Pellegrino

Var det italiensk spumante, der sendte dig i dørken, skal du måske forsøge dig med mineralvand af samme nationalitet for at rejse dig igen. S. Pellegrino-mineralvand er lige så italiensk som pizza, og faktisk udgør S. Pellegrino og en pizza tutti carne* et fantastisk makkerpar 1. januar, og dette kulinariske match vil bringe salt-, fedt- og væskebalancen på plads på bedste vis. Det er sgu ikke elegant med den pizza, men det virker!

*Det samme som en meat lover pizza – altså alt hvad den kan trække af skinke, salami, shawarma, kødstrimler, bacon osv. – det lyder bare mere sexet at sige det på italiensk.

 

Carlsberg Kurvand

Carlsbergs boblende vand er fremstillet på naturligt mineralvand, der kommer fra Arnakke-kilden ved Silkeborg, og Carlsberg tilsætter kulsyre med – vil jeg mene – meget løs hånd. Den er meget boblende og livlig, og du skal være klar til noget, der minder om elektrochok i flydende form. Men bevares – hvem kan ikke have brug for at blive genoplivet her på årets grusomste dag?

 

Tak til Badoit for lån af det fine billede.

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